Last month, when I was packing up my on-campus apartment and trying to unload my extraneous stuff, I avoided people for the most part, as much as I could. Everyone kept asking me the same questions, over and over again. Chief among them: “why are you leaving?”
I often cited the financial aspect, which was not small potatoes amongst my reasons. Of course, people – especially fellow film students – seem to underestimate the degree to which I am “poor.” When I explained that I could no longer pay for school, their first suggestion was to get more loans.
I was always leery of this option. More loans? I was already looking at over $40,000 in loans to pay back upon my graduation, did I really want to raise that to $50,000 or higher? Of course, I’ve since found that I was absolutely right in my thinking… or, at least, I’m backed up by the financial advice over at MSN Money.
The article How much college debt is too much? has solidified my opinion that I was in over my head. According to the article, your payments “shouldn’t exceed 10% of your expected monthly gross income once you graduate.” According to their calculations, the $25,000 I’ve already borrowed will cost me around $300 a month. Keep in mind that I am only two years into my degree so far, so a safe estimate is that my total monthly payments, on the road I was on, would have been $550 or more. The volatile and periodic work that befalls recent film school grads will never guarantee $5,500 a month in pay… no way. My boyfriend, who’s been out of film school and working in LA for over a year, made $28,000 that first year. But come to think of it, I can’t think of any programs that would get you $66,000/year the first year after graduation.
Also, the article alerted me to another fun tidbit that would have sent me into a tailspin, probably around the beginning of my senior year. I didn’t know this, but apparently, there’s a cap on the amount you can borrow in federal subsidized Stafford loan. After hitting the $23,000 mark (I’m at $17,367 at this very moment), my loan would have suddenly run out, and I’d have to scramble to start pulling in loans from private sources. No one ever alerted to me this, and I’m lucky at this point to have found and read this article, or I else I might have someday found a nice brick wall to run into.
I skipped even reading the part about parents and borrowing – my mother’s credit would never earn her a loan for me, and even if it did, she doesn’t have the means to make payments on it. This, honestly, is where I started to get rather pissed off at the other film students. After I would shoot down their “more loans!” suggestions, they would shrug and say “Well, that’s what parents are for.” I sometimes forget that film kids are generally suburban, upper-middle-class types who can actually ask their parents for money on a whim, and don’t even feel bad about doing it.
The end of the article offers some suggestions if you can’t borrow the amount you need. The first one, “Look for a college that wants you,” would have been useful advice three years ago. Back then, I was a cocky high school senior who was going to film school no matter what, and would find a way to make the money work. True, it was bold and courageous, but it also was a factor in landing me where I am now. The next suggestion, “Consider low-cost alternatives,” doesn’t apply to film students. Film schools make you go through their full four years – spending two years at a cheaper school will just make your degree more expensive, and take up two more years of your life. Thankfully, I knew this when I was applying, so I didn’t waste my time or money on some other school, and then transfer.
The final suggestion, “Get a job,” is pretty much a no-brainer. I didn’t get a job my freshman year, because I was sure I couldn’t handle the time constraints of my course load and a job. I was right – my inability to continue juggling my school work and my 20-hour-a-week job this year was a major factor in why I took my leave of absence.
So, where do I go from here? I’ll, uh, let you know.
Hi Stephani,
Sorry, to hear that. I guess you get a lot of “advice” these days when you probably just want to be left alone, but I cant quite bring myself to stay quiet. So, I will type; you decide whether to read it or delete it, OK?
I am a huge proponent of higher education. What you have decided right now is probably the best decision for you *at this point*. But, please, work it out with your school that you will return back after a couple of years. Many schools allow you to retain the credits earned so far, for upto a year or two. Take your time, but dont quit. You have already invested a lot of time and money on those two years… dont throw that away. Every minute that you are away from school, use it to find means to get yourself back in. In the long run, believe me, it will be worth it!
Good Luck.
My roommate went to film school for a year before dropping out. He’s been temping for several years now … but it works for him.
film school is expensive and the financial payouts aren’t guaranteed with a job.
good luck!
sfmoneygal
sfmoneymusings.blogspot.com
Good luck š
Go for it. Life is only lived once and try to make sure what your doing in college is right. DH left college between his 3rd and 4th years. Yeah, pretty much his parents flipped. He needed to find himself and he did. He finished and went to grad school, for what it’s worth, it made him more appreciative of what he was doing and more assured in his future.
ISPF: Thanks! I always enjoy your comments, and this one is particularly helpful. I haven’t had a whole lot of people agreeing with my decision. I’m hoping to get in touch with my school this month and start working some things out. Hopefully we can find a way for me to finish a degree in two years or less, once I return.
sfmoneygal: Yes, film school is a huge gamble. I know of people doing well with their film degree, and people not doing anything with their film degree. In the end, everyone has to decide for themselves if it’s worth it. Thank you!
anonymous: Thanks! =)
Living Almost Large: Thank you! I definitely plan to go back, but it’s going to be a long financial and soul-searching road before that time comes. I’m hoping that this blog will help me a bit with both! =)
[…]Stephanieās story about why she left school at Poorer Than You really broke my heart š I hope she will find a way to get back to school, soon![…]
My cousin graduated from film school, and it’s true that those first years are really tough. He did have full parental support or he may not have made it while trying to get extra work on sets and things like that.
Sometimes I truly think it’s a blessing (or dumb luck) that the vocation I ended up liking a lot is fairly well-paying. I could never do film š
I haven’t caught up on the rest of your blog yet, but hopefully things are working out better for you now. Onwards!
I sometimes forget that film kids are generally suburban, upper-middle-class brats who can actually ask their parents for money on a whim, and donāt even feel bad about doing it.
—yeah and that’s why so many films that are seen on the festival circuit and in theaters are so underwhelming.
I like your blog a lot.
I am just now reading this and had to comment because I sincerely relate to your story. For me it wasnāt just film students I knew that ungratefully took money from their parents; it seemed to be the majority of people I knew, and I still find myself harnessing animosity towards college students for this reason. My parents had the money to send me to school ā my Mom has MS and is bound to a wheel chair, yet she remarkably runs a successful eBay business from home, and my Dad makes a very good living as an engineer working for Boeing ā they could have sent all their kids to college if they wanted to, but they decided it was best for us to figure out life on our own. So I had a choice after high school: pay rent to live at home, or move out. All my friends were going off to college, so I thought I might as well. Even though I was on my own financially, I decided not to claim independence from my parents. Why? I have no idea. I didnāt fully know my options! I was just a kid trying to make adult decisions, and felt like I had no one to guide me. So since I filed as their dependent I never qualified for any financial aid and racked up $18k in loan debt, despite working two jobs at times while attending school part time. Changing majors didnāt help. I was just lost, and ultimately gave up on pursuing a degree.
After 4 years I only had 2 yearsā worth of college credits, but I was fortunate enough to get a decent paying administrative job. Itās been 6 years since I was enrolled in school, and I just enrolled again this semester. Itās taken me a long time to save up the money, and the courage, to go back. It also gave me time to come to grips emotionally with the fact that I canāt hate others for what life has dealt me. I wouldnāt be the same person without my struggle, just as Iām sure you would agree for yourself. I have no anger towards my parents; in fact I would have done it the same even if they offered me financial help, so that my Mom would have more money for medical expenses.
I just wanted to share so you would know it is refreshing to read that I wasnāt alone. Iām inspired by your story and happy for you that you finished school and can share your experiences with us. If only I could go back in time tell my 18-year-old self, as I swipe meal plan cards for other students who could afford them, it WILL get better. Now to just invent that time machineā¦
Hey Anonymous,
Thank you SO SO much for commenting and sharing your story. I relate to your story just as you relate to mine! And I definitely agree with you: I would not be the same person, I would not have learned what I learned, and so for that, I am grateful for all the things I went through, even if they sucked majorly at the time they happened.
One thing I do want to say is that you shouldn’t beat yourself up for not going “independent” on your financial aid forms. That’s actually incredibly hard to do, and it sounds like your situation likely wouldn’t have qualified for it. Basically, you did exactly what you were supposed to do, it’s just that the system is quite broken in that regard. So don’t feel bad for how you handled a broken system – we do the best we can with the tools available to us, and it sounds like that includes you! I wrote more about financial aid independence debacles here: https://poorerthanyou.com/2008/02/06/dependent-or-not-dependent-why-i-hate-the-fafsa/ and here: https://poorerthanyou.com/2009/04/13/how-to-file-the-fafsa-without-your-parents-information/
The comments on those two posts contain a lot more folks in situations similar to yours and mine, but be warned: there are also a lot of comments in there with even-more-heartbreaking stories, so, prepare yourself if you read the comments. There are more than a few tear-jerkers!