Normally, I try to avoid tying my happiness to material things. I’m already a big packrat, harboring 22 years worth of nostalgia in my closet. I need to minimize my attachment to “stuff,” not encourage it. But there’s one thing I really and truly desire, with all of my heart. It will take a bit of explaining…

When I was 16, my house was robbed. I remember that it happened in April, so it was almost exactly four years ago. The details of the robbery aren’t that important, except for the fact that most of what was stolen was jewelry. My mom’s jewelry, which she was saving to pass onto my siblings and me… and my jewelry, as well. It infuriated me, because I knew that nearly all of jewelry was worthless at a pawn shop, which was the likely place the goods were taken. I suspect that what the pawn shop didn’t take was simply thrown in the trash.

Two years before that, I was a bridesmaid in my older sister’s wedding. I was quite proud to be a part of the wedding – both because my sister and I are close (despite our age difference), and because it made a 14-year-old me feel very grown-up. For her bridesmaid’s gifts, my sister gave out necklaces. I thought mine was the prettiest thing the world. It was just a cubic zirconia in a simple setting on a chain, but it meant the world to me, and I wore it nearly every day after that.

Except for the day the house was robbed. I don’t know why I didn’t wear it that day – maybe I had gym class and I thought it would be easier to not wear any jewelry. Maybe I was in a rush and forgot. Whatever the reason, the necklace sat with the rest of my jewelry that day, and not around my neck. As you likely suspect, it was a part of the jewelry that was stolen.

I know I will never get that necklace back – whether the pawn shop accepted it or it was thrown out, it’s long gone now. But I still search for it, consciously and unconsciously, to this day. Whenever I’m looking at jewelry, I always look for necklaces like it. I always hope that one day I will stumble upon a necklace that looks exactly like it. I’ve even toyed with the idea of finding someone who makes jewelry and commissioning them to make a replica.

But because I know I will never really get that necklace back, I’m not willing to pay much for it. I can’t really buy my sister’s gift back, I can only buy something that looks like it. And thankfully, I know that. I’m only willing to pay normal jewelry prices for a replica, which isn’t much, because I don’t normally buy jewelry! But something nags at me in the back of my head to find that necklace.

I think we’re all attached to something like that. Something from our past that we may never see again, but we look for anyway. It might be something meaningful like my necklace, or maybe it’s just fun nostalgia, like Ecto Cooler. But I’m willing to bet everyone has some lost object that pulls at them.

In case you’re wondering, my necklace looked a little something like this $6,800 necklace, only raised from the setting and not attached directly to the chain – there was a solid loop attaching it. So if you ever see a necklace that looks like what I’ve described, I’m begging that you let me know.